You just found out that your partner has a sexual addiction that has kept him/her having a secret life, one that often involves one-night stands, prostitutes, and 'sex-buddies'.

What should you do?

Number One! Go get medically tested for STD's and then kick his/her arse to the curb! You do not need to be together at this time, as space apart is needed to work through your thoughts, emotions, and feelings.

There are too many con's and not enough pro's to this situation. But I am not completely against you two trying to work this out. First, though, you have to HONESTLY ask yourself these questions...

* can you ever, ever REALLY trust them again? Or will you find yourself walking on eggshells, going through his wallet or her purse, following them when they leave, checking in on him/her at work, listening in on their phone conversations, and basically never being able to relax? What a HORRIBLE way to live your life!

* can you ever really feel fully committed to him/her sexually? Or will you always want to fight enjoying the sex, because you feel they have belittled what intimacy you once had. Will your body respond to him/her, or will you be fighting visions of him/her betraying you repeatedly?

*do you believe that they can overcome their addiction? Or do you secretly fear that it will simmer and stew and then reappear some years and three kids down the road?

*can your love conquer this? Basically, love can conquer most things - but not ALL things - and, even so, at what cost to you? Is it worth the cost? This is what you have to ask yourself...is the pain of rebuilding a life with a sex addict worth it, or will the pain be too much to bare?

Seek a good support group and try to educate yourself on the subject of sexual addictions. Urge your partner to seek help for their addiction. If they refuse, you should understand that their addiction will keep resurfacing in your relationship.

Most importantly realize that the truth is within you - only you know how you feel. Only you know whether you can work this situation out, or whether you cannot possibly accept this situation in your relationship. Everyone is different, and every addiction is different.

Tiggy

"love grows where trust is laid, and love dies where trust is betrayed"
~by Tigress Luv

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